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It Just Keeps Getting Sexier: Barry & Kiki Present – “The Morning After”

April 23, 2011

Barry: her sleep makeup is excellent
Kiki: I KNOW. and that hair is amazing. waking up with the radio is such a movie trope…OMG!
Barry: it actually looks like bedhead…oh isht! it gets live quick. i like that
Kiki: Fonda went to Farrah Fawcett Extremities School for Acting Even has the same hairdo!
Barry: photographers are never involved in anything safe. they’re always either the killer, or the next one to be taken out by the killer

Kiki: suddenly she’s stumbled into Faye’s loft from Eyes of Laura Mars!
Barry: [after witnessing Fonda exit the bedroom containing the dead guy and quickly pouring a stiff drink] in the days before 911, we’d get a drink before we get help.
Kiki: HA! I see you, Pepsodent.
Barry: hahaha, I was just typing about that! the only thing better would have been Close-up.is that what it was called? the cinnamon one?

Barry: car phone!
Kiki: Hellooo, My name is Raul Julia and I will be your costar for this film. He’s not the guy you want to see when someone you’ve porked has ended dead. He’s not providing any comfort
Barry: “a greasy diesel dyke”. is that a dig on someone in hollywood at the time? he had a heart attack? “yeah, from a knife in his chest.”
Kiki: “you’ve got more serious problems than lousy lovers.” How come drunks are so glamorous in films?
Barry: because they have a sax playing behind them?
Kiki: Fonda was nominated for an Oscar for this role. (She lost to Marlee Matlin.)
Barry: it’s no Klute. Mateo Street!
Kiki: I am in love with this hair
Barry: I’m not mad at those sunglasses yet.

Kiki: These establishing shots are pure Lumet
Barry: damn, NOW it’s the credits. I love it. yeah, totally, and that font is pretty powerful. can you imagine needing to walk of shame to the police station to report a dead body? my day seems a lot better now
Kiki: HAHAH. LUM ET LUM ET. I mean, LOO MET LOO MET
Barry: LOL
Kiki: The opening credits remind me of that show Cassie & Co!
Barry: while I love how that shot looked of her chasing the cab, I can’t think of any possible way that could have actually happened, but I don’t care! it looked so good!…oh Bruce Vilanch
Kiki: I’m trying to figure out where she is. I have been in all the shady areas of LA County and I couldn’t place it…Whoa, Bruce! I love that we know who that is
Barry: she’s packing up her caboodle
Kiki: It’s serious

Barry: I wish Raul Julia was alive today to be making a buddy movie with Christopher Walken
Kiki: That looks like North Hollywood. If so, she’ll need to take a number when she gets to the police station, there are probably lots of women waking up next to dead men. Lumet trope alert: Elegant black lady!

Barry: her character is acting better than Jane was.

Kiki: Fonda is acting as hard as she can. So she’s a hot mess, then.

Barry: I love these California cars…and here’s The Dude!
Kiki: ::panting:: Look at that body!
Barry: I love a clean white tee I want that polo too!
Kiki: You know what happens next…he fixes the cable!
Look at that boyish shag. (on Bridges’ character’s name) Two last names. hmmm. (regarding a cheesy looking shot of Fonda and Bridges riding in a car) Oh they could have spared ten bucks for a street filming permit
Barry: I love Lumet movies because they rely on the phenomenon of two strangers assuming the best of each other. I mean, it’s rare, but it happens! so they always skate this thin line of reality and fantasy
Kiki: Oh isht! You’re right. LOL I like how the car keeps conveniently breaking down whenever we need more exposition.

Barry: and now they’re off Sepulveda in Culver City?
Kiki: How did that happen? That’s like, what, an hour or so even in good traffic
Barry: “bus depot”
Kiki: LOL. She looks like she knows her way around a bus depot. stop fronting
Barry: and we’re back at the yellow building!
Kiki: I love how neither of us have mentioned the name “Vivica”
Barry: oh THATs her name…”you gotta pull back and shove at the same time.” say it again, Jeffy.
Kiki: i want that stitched on a pillow!
Barryand, now it’s nighttime?? wait, that’s probably right, she did go to LAX and back, that’s about 8 hours roundtrip
Kiki: At least. even factoring light holiday travel. I don’t like the sound of this music one bit. Ooh that coffee table is killing it.

Barry: she’s scrubbing down that pepsodent. ooh, I forgot about Signal mouthwash too
Kiki: she’s cleaning that house like Mommy Dearest. “We’re gonna scrub these floors, Christine.” leopard print undies. I guess we’re to take it that he wasn’t the most upstanding of characters.
Barry: “I’ll just tidy up and you keep doing whatever you were doing.” (Fonda to the dead guy in her bed.) uh-oh, the cat is going to lead her to clues!
Kiki: The Cat Who Saved the Lush! Sidney could frame a shot. I tell you what!
Barry:don’t say that word, it’s worthy of a stabbing! (the word in question is Lush) seriously, the movie is awesome to look at! I keep wanting to make a million screen caps
Kiki: HA! those books on the coffee table better not be decorative! – snap!
Barry: that was good. you got me Lumet!
Kiki: me too!

Barry: I thought the cat was gonna jump out, not Jeff
Kiki: normally seeing Jeff Bridges pop up doesn’t elicit a scream from me. well not one of terror. Look, Scooby, why don’t you get back into the mystery machine and be on your way!
Barry: aw, she’s getting all sweet on him before giving the boot
Kiki: This is why I never close any doors in my house and took the doors off the closet.
Barry: I always love some nookie with a friendly stranger after I wake up next to a dead stranger. tacos in the freezer?
Kiki: is that is a come on?

Barry: I like the mayo bit. “four gallons of thunderbird.” “it was on special.”
Kiki: That’s a lot of T-Bird. Is she a blues singer or something?
Barry: he’s gonna make her dinner – it just keeps getting sexier
Kiki: I love how in most Lumet films – even The Wiz – we never know what’s at stake. Lulled by sax interludes and innuendo.
Barry so true.
Kiki: Wow, waking up with a dead guy has its benefits. Friends with benefits, even.
Barry: ha!!!! I like how she gasped at the cranberries
Kiki: Who knew that’s what it took to get a home cooked meal!
Barry: I like how NOW she asks if he’s married. I mean, that that is her habit to ask

Kiki: This scene smells like peroxide and Oscar bait.
Barry: she got nominated because she spouted off lots of racial slurs. to fight her liberal reputation
Kiki: while drinking booze and looking a hot mess. Simi Valley Jane! Two white folks discussing race. This is going to go to good and productive places.
Barry: this might be a favorite film of Paul Haggis
Kiki: SERIOUSLY
Barry: “obviously you don’t watch the better TV channels.” what a way to introduce yourself as famous
Kiki: noticeably absent is any mention of my people. Lumet’s views the world through Ebert colored glasses. keeping it classy, as it relates to my peeps!

Barry: he likes to fix things. like the hearts of drunk blondes…oh no she didn’t just quote Brando
Kiki:Her place is total grandma chic
Barry: that’s a pink mantel. whoa, a pink everything
Kiki: well the mirror is gold. oddly the phone isn’t pink. she’s more harlot than starlet! *rimshot*
Barry: I”m surprised she didn’t slide right off that bed, it’s all so satin-on-satin
Kiki: cue blackout in 4…3…2…
Barry: no matter how bored I get, I never want to spend my time picking up after mean drunks. I’m still waiting for Turner’s motivation in this. or is her blondeness and legs supposed to be enough?
Kiki: well the musical cue clearly suggests he’s got motives for days. I guess he made that dinner for nothing.

Barry: hahaha. so much conveyed in two notes played on the french horn!
Kiki oh no. no no no. do not talk to the mirror.
Barry: HAHAHAHAHA! I probably wasn’t supposed to laugh when she opened the shower. it’s a Coen movie
Kiki: I screamed and laughed

Barryoh isht, I love this framing of her behind the van. that was tight.
Kiki: the tone of this film evokes Deathtrap meets The Wiz. oh this is hot. this shot of her running next to the car
Barry: he makes use of those legs, always making her skirts fly open and needing to run all the time
Kiki: “he was taking pictures of ladies with biceps with string bikinis” and that’s why he deserved to die? how judgey
Barry: “you know what’s funny? I didn’t like him.”
Kiki: Yes, a drunk banging a stranger she doesn’t like? That’s hilarious comedy bit being performed nightly in cities all over the world. She sure thinks a lot of unfunny things are funny.
Barry: wait, Jackie is her haridresser/husband? I thought he was her agent. “we were discussing my problem over a couple of drinks…..”
Kiki: wow. no wonder she needs 5 gallons of TBird. she has a lot of problems
Barry: 3 months of hard time for stabbing a guy??!?
Kiki: celebrity justice
Barry: she judges, he moralizes. hurry up and do something!

Kiki: GET A JOB YOU BUM! Wait. Who’s Frankie? Have we met him yet? Is he going to have a dead guy in his shower too?
Barry: I was about to ask you! her other gay husband?
Kiki: ooh they’re in matching robes. I see they have the same decorator. holy hellish pantsuit, batman!
Barry: what a sassy walk in silk suit… “when we separated, we got close.” i.e. when he stopped having to live with your drunk ass, he lliked you better
Kiki: ding ding ding. Ladies and gentlemen, I present: Mr. Raul Julia in “Shampoo”
Barry: the incessant race stuff in dialogue is so weird and oddly placed, what was he reacting to, I wonder? the screenwriter, I mean.

Kiki: I wanted to practice my bigotry in a better school district. it’s not incessant; it’s analysis, Barry! is the tuner switch broken? why is everything suddenly all Blade Runnery
Barry: suddenly they’re on another planet, it got all red. are you judgeing his cement block book shelves?
Kiki: I am sitting here quietly judging his cement block book shelves. When are they going to do it? ::glances at watch::
Barry: I hope he’s playing her the whole time, that would make this movie awesome. what’s going on, turner?” you mean, in his pants?
Kiki: off comes the polo (again) he’s pulled that polo on and off like five times
Barry: if I looked like him, I’d take my shirt on and off all the time too. he makes it so easy! thanks Sidney. cutting to pillow talk and the take two. and then the intimacy panic attack!
Kiki: already with the vodka. I guess it’s probably 5pm somewhere

Barry: (Fonda reading a write up of the police announcing her as a murder suspect) “you’d think they’d mention the one fucking good film I made!”
KikiWait, when did this become “Who’s Afraid of Jane Fonda?”
Barry: right? he sure loves pushing and bossing her around. someone needs al-anon
Kiki CODA’s calling, will you accept the charges, Turner? They had some left over paint from her house to paint the office!
Barry ooh, wood paneling as an accent wall. that i can get behind for an office.

Kiki: KATHY BATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Barry: I did not see that coming!! was she in the opening credits??
Kiki: me neither! and of course, the best acting.
Barry: hahah. unless this is first-time breakthrough role for her, it would be funny to have stumbled upon that. before this movie, Kathy Bates did an ep of Cagney and Lacey! it looks like she had a few starts to the career, but 1986 is when she started working steady.

Kiki: Ooh, is this a makeover scene? Where’s the jaunty music
Barry: she’s getting the frosting taken out? thank Xena!
Kiki: and once she finishes the 6 pack stashed in her purse she can set her hair! whoa.for someone so theatrical vivica doesn’t have many costume changes.
Barry: i know, that same suit. seeing guys with slicked back hair in profile really shows that it’s not really the best look for a nice head of hair.

Kiki: Is it already time to make the “pet the pussy” joke?
Barry: i like that they’re petting it simultaneously while talking
Kiki: It’s like the equiv of having a seat between them at the movies
Barry: for a second I thought I remembered how this movie ended, but then I realized that memory was from Jagged Edge

Kiki: that hair is awful! Yeah, he’s definitely a straight hairdresser
Barry: I would have envied that hair real badly in 1986
Kiki: I think I had some version of that hair. with a hot mess of a curled bang
Barry: stop talking about my mom’s hair. it’s hard to listen to anything she’s saying, I can’t stop looking at it!!!
Kiki: Raul’s vest is too short. Can I trust a man in an ill fitting vest
Barry: “you know where everything is” – that’s the second person who has told her that
Kiki: Seriously! It’s always 5pm in Vivica’s world
Barry: mama needs her medicine. play that tuba of sadness and suspense!
Kiki: Should I emotionally invest in a 80s thriller without a nary a note of a Phil Collins hit?

Barry: there can’t just be ONE dead body popping out in a movie
Kiki: Wow do these people NOT watch other thrillers?
Barry: was he wearing a wig?
Kiki: You can be unraveling the case all loud like that. “we gotta get this wig to Greenbaum.” Yeah, but the music says otherwise!
Barry: “where are your clothes?” oh if she had a dime….
Kiki: “where are your clothes?” is the “hello, how you doing?” of her world
Barry: du-DUH
Kiki: this is going some very weird and decidedly Lumetish places

Barry: Diane Salinger – she was Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and Batman Returns! Jackie totally needs a WITA post. and Carnivale….and lots o guest stars in TV…
Kiki: I love an underwhelming murder motivation! an hour and change into this thing and we get the plot?
Barry: right? so much information everywhere. ooh, I felt that head knocking the tub. ow. what’s happening with Raul’s hair too?
Kiki: It’s trying to escape his head.
Barry: remember when they’d call in on the person’s phone?? totally. visually it reminds me of that Lesley Ann Warren movie with the Teddy Pendergrast soundtrack
Kiki: now it’s turned into a SYDNEY POLLACK film. “visually it reminds me of that Lesley Ann Warren movie with the Teddy Pendergrast soundtrack” so much this!

Kiki: now that the murder’s solved I guess she’s going to keep this new soccer mom look
Barry: settling down with a cop means sensible hair and shoes
Kiki: and a broomstick skirt
Barry: HAH. wait, now there’s a twist? what’s he talking about?
Kiki: seriously. they’re almost out of movie
Barry: he’s not as into her now that she doesn’t need saving
Kiki “I haven’t had a drink in two days and a night” is the city out of booze?
Barry: she was busy sleeping all that time
Kiki: wait, what? please tell me they are not going to troll AA meetings together
Barry: no 13th stepping!
Kiki: and that’s how you know it’s a Lumet film. OMG it IS a Kenya bag!
Barry: HA. the outfit kinda gave me chills, it brought back so many sense memories. that movie totally ended with “it didn’t work.” I just had to say that out loud.
Kiki:I can’t wait to rewatch the sequel: Ironweeds

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One Comment leave one →
  1. evmaroon permalink
    April 26, 2011 5:03 pm

    Okay, I’m gonna go watch this tonight now. There goes my productivity! Thanks, you two!

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