5 Safe Oscar Predictions
I have about a week or so before I make my official Oscar predictions. If you recall I had a perfect record on the big categories last year and most likely will maintain my impeachable record this year. Right now I’m still going back and forth regarding the Best Actor category because Colin Firth’s win at the Globes tossed me. That said, I do fear Marky Mark will have the same experience with his boxing movie as Sly had with his: everyone else winning awards around him! Since I can’t make my real predictions I thought it might be nice to at least whet your appetite!
1. James Franco will do something weird and deliciously cringe-inducing. Forget Gervais, Franco’s the host of the hour. Known for being weird for weird’s sake (and the lucrative press feeding frenzy that frequently ensues), Franco will drag his co-host Anne Hathaway into Oscar hosting infamy.
2. The ceremony will be long and your favorite winners will find themselves trying to outshout the play off music. This is a yearly occurrence and besides the dead montage glaring omissions, which often garners much chatter and blog fodder. Playing off winners such as the precious few minorities who manage to ascend the stage to receive awards is egregious to be sure, but let’s be honest, it’s also kind of hilarious watching someone like Halle Berry sound like an auctioneer as she attempts to thank everyone – including the mailman – in her acceptance speech.
3. A white dude will win Best Picture. Whatever Virginia Slims like strides Kathryn Bigelow’s win promised have quickly run out of steam. Even with “The Kids Are All Right” director Lisa Cholodenko’s efforts deserving of Oscar recognition, most likely the Best Director Oscar race will look pretty much like the DGA nominations, which means that we should all should settle in for a long, self indulgent speech by one of these white guys.
4. Someone’s acceptance speech will harsh a mellow. With everyone’s favorite mellow harsher – James Cameron – not slated to receive any nominations, the burden rests squarely on the shoulders of Darren Aronofsky, who hopefully will repeat some of his recent shenanigans in front of a hot mic. Fingers crossed.
5. There will be few surprises. The King’s Speech, The Social Network and Black Swan have been divvying up the awards of late, which means the producers of surprises like Blue Valentine or big budget fare like Inception needn’t bother drafting acceptance speeches or lists of “the little people” they wish to thank.
What are you “safe” Oscar predictions.