DWTS: No Pistols Allowed
I’ve been mad at NYCPenpusher because he asserted that Bristol the Pistol would go far in the competition because she is such a ratings coup: I knew his prediction was a likely one, so I wasn’t really angry with him, more the reality of the situation he pointed out. Did the producers know all along exactly how far the popularity vote would take her? Yes, so I’m more angry at them. Rumors are that mom Sarah like to send out texts/tweets to get people to vote without even watching the show, as well as exploiting loopholes with unlimited e-mail voting. This isn’t new practice among fans of any contestant, but any minor celebrity fan club can’t compete with the size of the Palin fan club. Friends of mine who were longtime fans of the show have stopped watching all together, and I can’t say I blame them, I’m dangerously close myself. It’s one thing to roll my eyes at yukster Tom Bergeron and Brooke “having been to the finals myself” Burke (oh shut up); it’s another to watch my beloved judges exhibit signs of Stockholm Syndrome. This has been a season of inflated scores, but c’mon. I have not posted one clip of BP this season, but now I will. People. you need to understand HOW bad she is.
Her “solo” was swinging her skirt around and marching in place! At moments, her footwork was offbeat from Mark’s and the choreography in general was simplistic. For that, she was given straight 9s. Straight 9s!!! For the record, I don’t think Brandy deserved straight 10s from the judges either, but at least she will have those scores to dry her tears, as she was sent home packing last night. Next week the finals will be BP, Jennifer, and Kyle (who I’ve had my eye on since week one, so I’m glad that my prediction came true in addition to NYCPenpusher’s).
This week’s Dancing With the Stars was disturbing, and not just because a politician’s daughter who can’t dance is winning. No, this week during the packages before the dances, we were reminded that there is not one, but two, stars in the running who have been involved in serious car crashes resulting in the deaths of the other drivers: Brandy’s 2006 accident and Jennifer Grey was a passenger when Matthew Broderick crashed their car in Ireland in 1987. There’s no joke here, I’m just questioning the use of these stories by the producers, they aren’t really increasing the sympathy vote. Though in Jennifer’s case, it revealed that her neck injury caused by the collision became a chronic problem that she eventually got corrected with surgery specifically to be on Dancing With the Stars. She had surgery on her spinal cord to ballroom dance, people. She wants this very, very badly.
Although Kyle got my heart vote early on, my money bet was that Jennifer Grey would win, and, despite the fear of popular vote, I stand by this….though not with absolute confidence. Here is the story I believe is being written: Jennifer Grey is the perfect DWTS contestant, the actor famous for a couple of big hits, one of them a popular dancing movie. She wants this badly (surgery!), I’m not sure it’s a coincidence that they finally placed her on a season when she does not have much competition and paired her with golden boy Derek. In fact, this sounds like a perfect recipe for a mirrorball trophy; but they can’t just hand it to her so blatantly, they need conflict and drama, which came in the form of her injuries and strained body. That’s not quite enough to make us watch – we like good dancing, but we like suspense and story arc too. Last season was essentially a neck and neck competition between the two perfect 10s, Nicole Scherzinger and Evan Lysacek, but no one this season emerged to reliably be her leaderboard rival, so the producers are probably loving the massive voting for Palin as it creates a story for them to work over. I just hope they don’t go too far and let her take the whole competition. I don’t care if they have to change the rules and make judge scores count for 90% of the total, they need to work it out. I’m already making peace with the fact that Kyle will probably be the third place winner, just so they can have Jennifer and Bristol both bathed in red spotlight at the very end and keep viewers tuned in until the last possible moment. I understand, producers, that you want more audience because that is more dollars, but please think long term strategy here. You will lose even more fans of the show, and really, in the annals of television history for your show, which name will look better on the list of winners?
No matter what the outcome though, I promise I will not go as far as this gentleman from Wisconsin who decided he needed to shoot his television while Bristol “the Pistol” Palin danced. Is it a mere coincidence he terrorized his wife while insisting he should be using the more symbolically correct guns?
Is all this Palin hoopla meant to distract us from the cakewalk of Grey’s win? Is there any chance Kyle could take second? And most importantly, will any of the freestyle dances possibly top Marie Osmond’s for most uncomfortable??!