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DWTS: Vote No on BP, Yes on Kyle

November 10, 2010

We’re almost there, people.  Next week is the semifinals, and I’m glad because this season has been getting on my nerves.  First off, every week — every week — Tom Bergeron has announced during the elimination that the two couples on the platform are not necessarily the bottom two couples.  Stop that, ABC.  Just, stop it.  Put the lowest two couples in the bottom two.  Every time he says that they have NOT done that, I know he means Bristol Palin, because for the past month, for the entire show, Bristol Palin has been hanging out at the low end of the scoreboard.  And yet, here we are, going into the semifinals and guess who will be there?  Bristol Palin.  (Oh sorry, forgot to mention — Kurt Warner was eliminated last night. Sorry, Kurt fans.)  Are the producers trying to mix it up so that we don’t see Bristol bathed in red light EVERY WEEK?  Maybe they feared giving her the danger spotlight would induce people to vote harder?  That tactic is clearly not working, because have I mentioned yet that we are in the semifinals, people?  As a dancer, the judges have generously allowed her to crack 8s in the scoring (really a 7.49 they rounded up), and I haven’t gotten worked up about her all season, not wanting to give her any more attention than the she is already receiving from fans, haters, and news outlets alike.  I am not a hater.  I think her mother is a terrible government employee and a fluffy politician, but generally avoid any discourse around Sarah Palin because I feel like if everyone stopped giving her so much attention, she’d go away.  I was hoping the same of Bristol.  She seems like an awkward 20 year old who has never moved her body.  But I have eyes, I’ve seen her improve, I will certainly give her that.  Granted this is a season rife with microimprovements, every contestant seems to be struggling to really breakthrough and be a ballroom dancer, but, seriously, COME ON.  I’ve reached my breaking point.  I’m done with Bristol.  Send her home to her infant son and stop torturing us fans of the show who want to seem some damn good dancing.

I probably will not get my wish.  I’ve maybe even just ensured that she will be in the finals with this rant.  She is not the first GOP affiliate on the show (ugh, remember Sara Evans?  Or Tom DeLay of last fall?), and she won’t be last, but what I hate is that our real elections are now emulating reality tv, where people vote with their inner child about who they “like”, and not with their adult brain selecting the best qualified.  Yeah, I’m comparing Dancing with the Stars to mid-term elections, what?  Ok, back to dancing.

So Kurt said goodbye, I just covered BP, and the last three hopefuls for the finals are: Brandy & Maks, Kyle & Lacey, and Jennifer & Derek.  I’ve been a fan of Kyle from the beginning, and him representing well for chubby dancers.  His posture is sometimes slouchy and footwork occasionally “atrocious”, but luckily these are fixable problems, and he’s taken what they say every week and improved on his performance.   Carrie Ann shares my crush, too.  I love this clip because of the behind the scenes Lacey bossing him around during rehearsals.  “He knows it’s not personal.”

Kyle won’t win, I know that.  He doesn’t have the audience to pull him through, but he deserves to be in the finals.  He won’t land all the perfect 10s like Nicole and Mya and Donny of past seasons, but he has the fervor and drive.  This week, DWTS began a new tradition, the “instant dance” — couples were told all week to rehearse a style of dance, but they weren’t given the song until Monday evening, after they danced the first dance.  So with 45 minutes of rehearsal time, this is what Kyle & Lacey came up with:

Brilliant.  Interestingly enough, Brandy & Maks got major guff from the judges, especially Carrie Ann, for wasting four 8-counts at the beginning of their instant dance, but Kyle & Lacey wasted the same amount of time — it was just a more exciting waste because he was running and sliding across the dancefloor.  The Instant Dance provided generally good entertainment, I hope they keep it on — it has the electricity of the Dance-Off they had past seasons (where the bottom two couples danced for their life), but without the awkward ego stomping.

For you old school DWTS fans, last night was also the return of Dance Center, and there were a couple of good jokes buried there to make it worth watching.

~~~~~~

See you next week for the semifinals!

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17 Comments leave one →
  1. November 10, 2010 12:15 pm

    I am not a hater. I think her mother is a terrible government employee and a fluffy politician, but generally avoid any discourse around Sarah Palin because I feel like if everyone stopped giving her so much attention, she’d go away. I was hoping the same of Bristol. She seems like an awkward 20 year old who has never moved her body.

    I found her dancing to be a stiff as a starched shirt. I am baffled how she has made this far, yet Flo-Hen got peaced out!

    Also what the hell was up with Brandy’s dancing equivalent of dead air? I am definitely on Team Kyle now. You’ve convinced me. Look at me, talking about DwtS!!!

  2. Sandra C. Muñoz permalink
    November 10, 2010 12:25 pm

    I am sooooooo glad I stopped watching. But thanks for the recap and the clips!

  3. November 10, 2010 12:27 pm

    It was an awkward beginning, no doubt.

    I do like watching the ass on Maks though, that is what I focus my attention on when they dance!

  4. November 10, 2010 12:29 pm

    @Sandra, I feel like I’m watching for you and my other hardcore fan friends who first got me into DWTS. I am sadly an eternal optimist who hopes next season will be better. Or hell, that even the finals will be great.

  5. Amber permalink
    November 10, 2010 12:43 pm

    “…but what I hate is that our real elections are now emulating reality tv, where people vote with their inner child about who they “like”, and not with their adult brain selecting the best qualified. Yeah, I’m comparing Dancing with the Stars to mid-term elections, what? ”

    yes. our mid-term elections are just like reality t.v. complete with a cash prize at the end.

  6. marcyac permalink
    November 10, 2010 1:22 pm

    Hilarious! Yes, it is looking like Bristol will go to the finals at this rate, I don’t know what real Dance fans can do. I do know it is time to stop the insanity. And I agree, its not just the American people, how Is it Bristol can get the same score as the better Dancers? she has improved, but that is not saying a whole lot.
    Marcyac
    WWW. Machronicles.com

  7. November 10, 2010 1:24 pm

    It’s inevitable that Bristol will be in the finals. But seriously? Does she have a shot at actually winning?

  8. November 10, 2010 1:31 pm

    I’m still hoping she’ll get out before the finals — like I said, the eternal optimist! I feel like if BP won, the judge would suddenly want to renegotiate their contracts. Bruno already likes to bring up other networks as a threat when Tom Bergeron rags on him too much.

    she has improved, but that is not saying a whole lot.

    So true, Marcy. the damning of faint praise!

  9. angie permalink
    November 10, 2010 1:33 pm

    yeah i am not watching but i love reading your recaps and watching the clips, dancecenter, even when it is bad it is pretty funny i laughed.

  10. evmaroon permalink
    November 10, 2010 1:47 pm

    Hey, I didn’t know how Michael Costello made it to the final four on Project Runway, or how Mondo lost to Gretchen. And I didn’t understand Kenny winning Top Chef, either, though I don’t begrudge him the crown. Maybe all of these shows slouch into ridiculousness at some point.

    Can I use “fluffy politician” in my next political piece? I’ll totes give you credit.

  11. November 10, 2010 2:16 pm

    I think her mother is a terrible government employee …

    Was.

    Is she still on the government payroll somewhere that I’m unaware of.

    I don’t get the whole, “Let’s keep Bristol thing in.” It is frustrating to me the number of people who equate criticism of Bristol with criticism of her mother. The girl can’t dance. If she was Chelsea Clinton and was out there dancing like that, people with half a brain would still be able to see that she can’t dance.

    There must be people who say, out of one side of their mouth, “Let Bristol be Bristol, don’t judge her on the basis of her mom,” and then turn around and vote for her just because of her mom.

    Either that, or people are entertained by mediocrity.

    Either way, it’s sad.

    But, it’s a TV show, so… If it was just a dance competition, they wouldn’t bother with the whole outside voting process, anyway.

    That being said, Mike came over and watched with us the other night and made a comment about Bristol’s dancing, the gist of which was, “She probably just lays there.” Ahem…

    As to that “fact,” only Levi knows for sure.

  12. renniejoy permalink
    November 10, 2010 6:16 pm

    Mark is super-skeevy – I always feel sorry for his stars. Bristol seems so uncomfortable with him.

    Am I the only one who had already forgotten that Michael Bolton and the Hoff were on this season? It seems so long ago. 🙂

  13. November 10, 2010 6:23 pm

    @evmaroon: please feel free to use “fluffy politician” in your piece, I’d be honored!

    @Krista: thanks for catching the present tense/past tense — she WAS a government employee, I suppose she’ll remain a politician forever though. I know it’s just a dance show, but my sense of justice and fairness never rests! I guess I have to be careful when I talk about liking DWTS for it’s view of mainstream culture and people. Sometimes I don’t want to learn that people are so ridiculous.

    @renniejoy: I had a similar moment when watching the opening titles yesterday! Even “The Situation” seems far away. And I’m so glad you don’t like Mark either! He definitely skeeves me out.

  14. November 10, 2010 6:31 pm

    Hey, don’t get me wrong. I want the quality dancing to get ahead, here, too. Having Bristol Palin remain on DWTS this long is akin to having the wacky-tone-deaf American Idol auditioners make it to the finals of the show.

  15. renniejoy permalink
    November 10, 2010 6:43 pm

    I forgot to thank you for posting the DanceCenter clips! Thank you!

    I can’t make myself actually watch the results shows. 😦

  16. November 10, 2010 7:06 pm

    LOL @ The Hoff and Bolton. That seems like overkill even for reality TV. Can’t believe it was only a couple of weeks ago they were contenders.

  17. Chi permalink
    November 11, 2010 2:45 pm

    DanceCenter makes the results show worth watching. I sometimes wonder if Kenny Mayne is really as funny as he seems to me, because I start laughing from the minute I see him. Now that’s how you make lemonade out of really mean Bruno comments, Michael Bolton!

    Kyle is now my official going-for.

    Bristol…around here we always follow that like “Bristol, bless her heart, I’m just SAYIN.” Actually that tango was really impressive – for her. I was really hoping she could go out on a high note, but I have a really bad feeling she’s going to win the whole thing. We know that the voters love the underdog, but usually the underdog gets some extra time and then is mercifully sent home (the surprisingly sweet Jerry Springer). But Bristol seems unstoppable. I’m puzzled about the demographics there, because I have a huge religious right/Tea Party type family and no one else watches this show. In fact, I think some of them are mildly scandalized that we do (all that skin and ribald humor). This is my life, showing what a rebel I am by being a devoted fan of a dorky dance show!

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