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Weird Science Wednesday: Irony, Vomit and Outrage

September 15, 2010
Sunspot image taken July 1 and 2, 2010 by the New Solar Telescope at the Big Bear Solar Observatory. Credit: BBSO

Sunspot image taken July 1 and 2, 2010 by the New Solar Telescope at the Big Bear Solar Observatory. Credit: BBSO

Welcome to Weird Science Wednesdays, a new weekly post thing I’m attempting to keep up. I realize it’s not Wednesday anymore for some of you, but I’m very me-centered and it’s still Wednesday where I am. I love science and I read a lot about it, so I’m sharing my interesting science finds with you. Excited, right?

Avatar might make you vomit for reasons other than its recycled “white hero” plot–apparently 3D movies can give you “cyber-sickness”, which, like motion sickness, occurs when the sense of sight doesn’t match the sense of balance. And here I just wanted to avoid paying to see Piranhas 3D because I’m pretty sure it sucks. That won’t stop me from watching it on the SyFy Channel later, of course. Or buying a $2 DVD version of it out of the bargain bin at Wal-Mart.

If every moment of your life is a Rosa Parks moment, you might be at higher risk for cardiovascular disease. Type “D” or “distressed” personalities exhibit chronic negative emotions, pessimism and social inhibition. Watch out, humorless feminists! Righteous outrage takes lives. Who am I kidding, I’m probably this personality type, except for the social inhibition, unless by inhibition they mean “dislike of being around most people”. Type “D” personalities “tend to experience increased levels of anxiety, irritation and depressed mood across situations and time, while not sharing these emotions with others because of fear of disapproval”. Okay, you can count me out of that because I share ALL my negative emotions with others whether they approve or not.

If you want to figure out if you’re at the appropriate level of outrage to avoid dying of a heart attack, take the Harvard University “Type D” test.

Hipsters are getting younger and younger. A new study shows that children as young as four understand irony–and sarcasm, which bums me out because I was hoping to be very sarcastic to my future kids (if they ever exist) when they’re really young just to get it out of my system. I wonder, if these kids heard “Ironic” by Alanis M., could they tell that none of that crap is ironic? Apparently she can’t. The article states “… mothers and fathers did not use irony in the same way. Mothers were more inclined to use rhetorical questions and fathers preferred sarcasm.” I prefer a one-two punch of sarcastic rhetorical questions with a sprinkle of hyperbole. The one thing I really want to say to my future kid is “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.” Preferably when it’s a teenager.

Well, there you go, this has been Weird Science Wednesday #1. Live on Pacific Standard Time. Take that, East Coast elite.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. September 16, 2010 9:31 am

    Yay for Weird Science Wednesday!

    I’m diggin’ on this column. Because I enjoy internet quiz type things, even if they’re for “real science” as opposed to “Facebook science,” I’ll probably go figure out if my outrage is of the heart-death-causing kind or not.

    Also, I work with younger kids, and a fair number of them get irony and sarcasm, which totally weirds me out. Also, my phrase of choice for my future children is “…now I know why animals eat their young….”

  2. September 16, 2010 10:05 am

    Okay, you can count me out of that because I share ALL my negative emotions with others whether they approve or not.

    LULZ.

    I love this freaking column. Look forward to more. I wanna take the test, but I assume – like you – I’m probably not Type D.

  3. September 16, 2010 12:14 pm

    @eieioj I love internet quizzes too. My ex-boss took one of those IQ tests and plastered her results on the wall because she was “above average”. I’m like, uh, I wouldn’t be too proud that you scored above average on an Internet IQ test. The sampling pool is kind of tainted.

    @Snarky I think we’re like Type “B” if “b” stands for bitchiness.

  4. September 16, 2010 12:43 pm

    Tasha: everytime I think of internet IQ quizzes, I think of King of The Hill when Peggy takes one and finds out that she’s a genius. Unfortunately, so is everyone who takes the test, including Luanne. Hilarity ensues.

  5. September 16, 2010 12:56 pm

    I think I’m a type “FU” personality.

    Re hipsters: Isn’t that always the problem with hipsters? I keep getting older, and they keep getting younger.

  6. September 16, 2010 2:29 pm

    Okay I took that test, and now I know why my Dr. wants to put me on cholesterol-lowering meds.

  7. September 16, 2010 5:26 pm

    I’m so into Weird Science Wednesdays!!

  8. September 16, 2010 6:56 pm

    Tasha: everytime I think of internet IQ quizzes, I think of King of The Hill when Peggy takes one and finds out that she’s a genius. Unfortunately, so is everyone who takes the test, including Luanne. Hilarity ensues.

    Ha! I think that was the ep with Jeff Goldblum! I love that episode.

    I’m pretty sure I have the same personality type as PopLife. Someone should put together a quiz. Its results will be more hotly debated than those “Which Bowie are you?” quiz we all took on LJ and everyone was pissed when results revealed we were all Big 80s Bowie.

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