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Oh Apple, What You Done to Me

May 26, 2010

I was one of the “early adopters” of the iPhone. In other words, I was one of the people who got royally screwed by paying $500 for the original 2.5g iPhone when a few months later the iPhone 3G came out $300 cheaper and much faster. I’ve harbored a burning desire to rid Steve Jobs’ body of his head ever since the 3G came out. I did NOT go out and buy a 3G because I have standards and was not going to cow tow to Jobs’ “planned obsolescence” and basic disregard for his users. Plus, I was broke, I paid $500 for a f-ing phone.

I’ve watched the 3GS come out, and the introduction of Google’s Android, and grumbled on and off about how freaking SLOW AT&T’s “EDGE Network” is (what existed prior to 3G service), and how Google Maps doesn’t work right, and there was no cut and paste for forever, and WHY IS THIS SHIT SO SLOW. But I haven’t contemplated buying a new phone until last month, when I couldn’t get on the Internet from the iPhone for like, 2 DAYS because I guess the EDGE network was down and no one gives a crap about the few people still on the first generation phones. I was about to do something extremely stupid AGAIN and buy a 3GS until of all people, my MOM told me that she thought a new iPhone was coming out soon. So I Googled and sure enough, Gizmodo got their hands on a prototype iPhone 4G, WAY better than the 3GS and is supposed to come out in July.

However, I hate AT&T’s phone service, and that’s the only company you can use the iPhone with. Those Verizon commercials about AT&T’s dead zones? Totally on point. Sometimes I think the only people unfortunate enough to have AT&T service are iPhone users. And I really hate Apple’s disregard for consumers. It’s like they think they’re doing you a favor by letting you buy their products. The fact that Steve Jobs apparently has it out for Adobe and won’t support Flash on the iPad or iPhone is just so prickish to me. So when I read this article about Google’s Android OS, which runs on phones that can use the Verizon network, I started to cogitate on whether or not the new iPhone is going to be better than what Google’s offering right now.

I’m sure you care about my phone preferences, but to love me you must know I’m a gadget geek. And I do NOT want to be shafted (and no offense to John Shaft) by Apple again. I know some people are evangelical about their Macs, but I’ve never found the cult of the one button mouse to be that appealing. I understand that you think Microsoft is evil, but do you not realize that Apple is JUST AS EVIL? And at least Microsoft is evil in a populist-cum-big brother way and not an elitist-cum-big brother-who-thinks-you’re-beneath-him way.

Anyway, I’m saving my money for when Apple has all its cards on the table. I do love my iPhone, but not as much as I love not getting fooled again.

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. May 26, 2010 10:52 am

    Your Apple rant is Hilarious and I think that’s what a lot of people are feeling. But maybe instead of waiting for the new higher priced iPhone you should check out the 97 dollar iPhone 3GS at Walmart could be a good deal and it gets you off of edge not forever but mostly you get 3g at least where I am.

  2. raymondj permalink
    May 26, 2010 10:52 am

    I totally get your frustrations and agree with your assessment that Apple and Microsoft are basically just like politicians — both categories are a bunch of rich people who aren’t really that concerned with our lives as long as we have a pulse and a wallet. I have personally dealt with this dilemma by deciding to consciously become a 3rd wave consumer of gadgets — I got the iphone 3G right before the 3GS came out, refurbished even, so it cost me only $100 and a lot of the kinks had already been worked out thanks to people like you who bought the first phone! It’s fcking fcked up that apple charges people crazy amounts of money to buy the first generation of products so that they can make it better for the rest of us who are waiting. So, um, thanks, for being a beta tester, Tasha. I know Apple will never say it, so I will.

  3. evmaroon permalink
    May 26, 2010 10:55 am

    Apple is like a hot friend who is great to chat with when you run into each other at Nordstrom, but she never returns your calls. Apple is too cool for school. I have been an Apple faithful since my Apple IIe in 1983. NINETEEN EIGHTY-THREE, Tasha! I suffered on a cellular level when the relays inside the case popped, rapid fire, like firecrackers, in the middle of a college paper, six years later. No more green monochrome monitor? I worked on early Macs, G3s, G4s, G5s, PowerBooks, and now, a MacBook Pro that I’ve loved so well the E, S, N, and L keys are worn through. I have worn through titanium for Apple, damn it!
    But they still owe me $120 for a bad battery I returned to them, and I’ve called them four times about it now. And I may not be a friend to Flash, but I’d at least like the option to suck up my memory. And I just can’t abide trying to live on the perpetually craptastic AT&T network, and AT&T, you know you’re my go to for long distance! But you can’t handle the microwave signal, babe!
    I am getting an iPad for my 40th birthday. And I will read books on it, and watch movies while flying, and sort photos like I’m Tom Cruise in Minority Report. But whoa, was it just too hard to have more than one program running at a time? I know my Mac kool aid has worn off.
    Apple, you are too cool for school. I hate when people are too cool for school, Apple!
    Tasha, you are going to rock that 4G phone!

  4. May 26, 2010 11:45 am

    And I will read books on it, and watch movies while flying, and sort photos like I’m Tom Cruise in Minority Report

    Ha! That’s the first thing I did when my friend Ry got his iPad. I totally acted like Tom in MR.

  5. May 26, 2010 11:57 am

    Your Apple rant is Hilarious and I think that’s what a lot of people are feeling

    It was better than the one I got on the phone. Tasha was holding out on me!

  6. May 26, 2010 1:44 pm

    I’m also a total gadget geek and have been getting royally pissed at all the telecomm companies lately. AND I’m generally a Mac person, but definitely have my moments of being pissed at the elitism and, yes, disregard for their customer. Anyway, this comment exists pretty much only to say “Me, too! I empathize!” And to say that I’m giving up on the iPhone and setting my sights on Android. I never switched to an iPhone because I’ve been a long time Verizon customer and wasn’t going to switch to a crappier network just because Steve Jobs said so. And I’m pretty happy now to learn that Android phones seem to be better than iPhones, at least as far as speed goes. No, there aren’t as many apps, but I’m sure that will change when people get sick of the crappy Apple attitude.

  7. May 26, 2010 1:45 pm

    So, um, thanks, for being a beta tester, Tasha. I know Apple will never say it, so I will.

    Ahh I hate being a beta tester. That’s why I never buy new versions of Windows when they first come out. I did wait a bit after they released the iPhone to get it, which resulted in the quick obsolescence. But I don’t know why I thought Apple would be any different.

    @ev I loved the Apple IIe. Of course I was 6 years old and it was my first encounter with a computer, but it successfully kicked off my love affair with PCs. I just never got into the Macs even though we had them at school. IBM compatibles were just more versatile, I guess.

    @Snarky I couldn’t give away all my secrets! Then you wouldn’t have had to read the rant!

  8. May 26, 2010 1:46 pm

    Your Apple rant is Hilarious and I think that’s what a lot of people are feeling. But maybe instead of waiting for the new higher priced iPhone you should check out the 97 dollar iPhone 3GS at Walmart could be a good deal and it gets you off of edge not forever but mostly you get 3g at least where I am.

    I’m just not sure I even want to get back into it with Apple. The Android OS looks really good, so I’m just waiting to see if Apple pulls it out of the fire with the new one. Because as much as I complain, I do ❤ my iPhone.

  9. May 26, 2010 1:48 pm

    And I’m pretty happy now to learn that Android phones seem to be better than iPhones, at least as far as speed goes. No, there aren’t as many apps, but I’m sure that will change when people get sick of the crappy Apple attitude.

    Yeah, I think with Android having a more open development platform people will start creating more apps for it. And the Apple backlash is gaining steam.

  10. evmaroon permalink
    May 26, 2010 4:15 pm

    I wonder if the Apple backlash will collide with the Facebook backlash, and if we might see the extinction of hipsters as a result.

  11. raymondj permalink
    May 26, 2010 4:42 pm

    omg, I want Tasha to direct that disaster movie!!!

  12. May 26, 2010 6:46 pm

    HAHA. I would revel in it!

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