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I Love it When a Remake Comes Together: Summer Movies 2010

May 3, 2010

A few good men.

A couple of summer releases I might actually watch. It’s hard to get me motivated to watch a summer film, since a) there’s generally not much I need to see right away and b) Vermont movie theaters and shopping malls and stores AREN’T CLIMATE CONTROLLED. Hot in the winter HOT in the summer. I’m not letting my boyfriend pay 8 bucks for me to be hot and whiny. I can be hot and whiny at home for free.

The A-Team
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, Sharlto Copley, Liam Neeson, and Jessica Biel.

  • I’ll be the first to admit I go easier on actors who sail north of 6’2 and that has a much to do with feeling happy for folks finally getting to play roles other than freaks or henchmen or both (holla Richard Kiel) as it has to do with any cultural messaging I’ve received. Mr. 6’4 Neeson, I’m not mad at you. Very capable looking Hannibal. And after watching the trailer I’m not as annoyed with the Scott Brothers – choosing to believe Ridley is mostly to blame and not sweet and perfect Tony – as I was before. Though the staggering list of script writing credits tells me I’m not going to see Gladiator or Crimson Tide. That said seeing a cast list that does have one of those annoying “Sam” people means I might actually make it in the theater for this. And by “Sam” people I mean the pr0nny sounding Sam Rockwell or that scored-the-winning-touchdown sounding Sam Worthington. I wonder if there’s any reason to believe this A-Team will be able to hit the side of a barn with machine gun fire?

“The Last Airbender” in 3-D directed M. Night Shyamalan
Starring: Dev Patel, Jackson Rathbone,

  • Well Shamalamabingbing – no, I’m not making fun of his name – has another film and I’ll be honest, sometimes I pretend I know what’s going on in his movies. One Thanksgiving La Mommie and I opted to see M Night’s Unbreakable a.k.a “Sam Jackson’s Uncombable” rather than another Ashley Judd woman-in-peril holiday heart warmer. I swear we liked it! I liked Signs too! I liked The Sixth Sense. I swear I like his films, even if I’m not always sure what’s going on or what I’m supposed to pay attention to. He’s not real good with Chekov’s gun. He’s more of a Chekov’s gun collection kind of film maker. The only thing I know about this film is somehow the studio bankrolling the film was just unable to find any Asian actors to cast as Asian characters in a movie based on Mythology and artwork concerning itself with Asian folks. Oh yeah, the other thing I know is it seems to have stolen its trailer music The Watchmen.

Sex and the City 2
Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kirsten Davis, Kim Cattrall and Chris Noth

  • My girls are back and hopefully in a less dour story! I’m eagerly anticipating this film like NO other and oh my god, LIZA?!?! Samantha looks as though she’s gonna be a blast and Big’s eyebrows are back where they’re supposed to be. All in all, this looks like the place for me to be.
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12 Comments leave one →
  1. May 3, 2010 12:16 pm

    The “Chekhov’s gun collection” line made me laugh 🙂

    I like M. Night Shyamalan’s films too, but only the early show, because (1) I need to pay close attention, and (2) I need time to post-process. And if I see it at home, I need time to watch it again either to figure out what was going on, or to go back and check out all the clues I missed the first time around.

  2. araymondjohnson permalink
    May 3, 2010 12:29 pm

    Signs has some of the scariest scenes in a movie — I watched it alone during the daytime and screamed and jumped during one scene, and I’m not normally that reactive. The Village is actually a great example of dramatic irony, not a ‘twist movie’, and when you view it under that lens, it’s kinda brilliant….at least until he makes the person with mental illness be the murderer, so they could neatly wrap up that loose ends with no Bad Feelings. That is the bigger beef I had with him. My problem with Unbreakable is that he ended the movie with text, like it was a damn documentary epilogue!

    And yes, I’m totally using Chekhov’s Gun Collection(TM).

  3. May 3, 2010 12:58 pm

    The main problem with “Uncombable” was Sam’s hair. It was really distracting. Brotha, hit the comb, you’ve got company!

  4. May 3, 2010 1:56 pm

    Should I be fired from a pop culture blog if I could really give a shit about movies anymore? I feel like at any moment the popculture police will be knocking down my door to take my card away.

    The Last Airbender just makes me think of the Last Starfighter. I bet they’re actually pretty similar!

  5. May 3, 2010 2:09 pm

    @Poplife – no, it means you’re perfect for FRY BUTT.

  6. Kelsey permalink
    May 3, 2010 2:20 pm

    What is with the wacky fade outs in that A-Team trailer? I felt like I was slipping in and out of consciousness.

    I do love it when a plan comes together, though.

  7. May 3, 2010 9:09 pm

    What is with the wacky fade outs in that A-Team trailer? I felt like I was slipping in and out of consciousness.

    Oh that trailer was all kinds of hot buttered fail.

  8. hsofia permalink
    May 4, 2010 10:54 am

    I think the A-Team looks fun, and the Last Airbender looks iffy … could be awful. Shyamalan is so ponderous, how will that work with a kids’ movie? I loved Unbreakable, but the first time I saw it, I was ANGRY about the post-logue text. I was like WTF!! It literally filled me with rage for some unknown reason. But subsequent viewings (I saw it 3 times in the theater and own it on DVD) did not provoke such a response. Weird. Hated the ending of Signs, and The Happening was ridonkulous. Still, I enjoy MNS’s spec fiction premises. And at least the guy from Slumdog Millionaire is in another big role.

    I never saw that SaTC trailer – looks like a lot of fantasy and fun!

  9. May 4, 2010 11:35 am

    Hsofia, when Sam Jackson delivered his speech at the end I swear La Mommie was like, “OH C’MON!”

    which made the people around snicker.

  10. evmaroon permalink
    May 4, 2010 12:04 pm

    I love SaTC, but I’m cringing a little about how they’ll portray Dubai. But I’ll be in the theater with my popcorn and Diet Coke, ready for a good time!

  11. May 4, 2010 1:30 pm

    Ev, me too. I am not looking forward to what they’re gonna do with things. Hopefully, the depiction will be “neutral” like in their trek to Mexico, but I’m not inclined to assume it will be.

    Though they’ll be really into the “glamour” so maybe that will mean they will steer towards that instead.

    There better not be any “hijinx” of a “omg, I got sold into white slavery” variety.

  12. hsofia permalink
    May 4, 2010 2:59 pm

    Well they couldn’t film in Dubai or Abu Dhabi because the country of UAE didn’t want the movie shot there – the script was too racy, and the movie has the word Sex in the title. So I think they filmed in Morocco. At least, that’s what a journalist friend of mine who lived in Morocco said. Would also rather not see any white slavery jokes/references. Ugh. Maybe Charlotte will poop her pants, again. I don’t know if they can come up with anything funnier that (paraphrasing) line, “Honey, you pooped in your pants this year, I think you’ve suffered enough.”

    “Now that I know who you are, I know who I am.” AWESOMENESS! LOL

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