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Some of My Best Babies are Black*

April 28, 2010

oh snap!

Scandal plagued Oscar winning actress Sandra Bullock done went to Black Babies R’ Us and gotten herself a kid. Apparently, someone’s taken their work home with them! So all that chow chow about her hubby being a racist was really just a smoke screen for her serious anti-racism activism.

Well played, Sandy.

*Thanks to Fillyjonk for giving me the title!

31 Comments leave one →
  1. Q.V. permalink
    April 28, 2010 10:50 am

    The baby already looks nonplussed.

  2. araymondjohnson permalink
    April 28, 2010 11:06 am

    well-played, in-fcking-deed.

  3. evmaroon permalink
    April 28, 2010 11:25 am

    Well no WONDER they’re getting divorced! NOW I get it!…

  4. araymondjohnson permalink
    April 28, 2010 11:59 am

    There are a lot of things going on in that picture, but that damn rainbow beaded necklace just seem like the extra icing rubbed all up in my face.

  5. April 28, 2010 12:00 pm

    Aaaaaannd a million clown horns just exploded.

  6. evmaroon permalink
    April 28, 2010 12:10 pm

    You know what else I just realized? It’s a complete 180 from the kind of Hide the Baby Face game most other celebrities go for—think Jacko with the veils and blankets over his kids, Tom Cruise putting a wig on his baby, etc.—so that makes it even more apparent that this cute kid is a pawn. I just hope she’s no Mommy Dearest.

  7. Hsofia permalink
    April 28, 2010 12:17 pm

    Maybe it will be like The Blindside, but from the beginning.

    Although I have to say I am not against interracial adoption in principle.

  8. Hsofia permalink
    April 28, 2010 12:19 pm

    Mmm transracial adoption, I mean.

  9. badhedgehog permalink
    April 28, 2010 12:24 pm

    @Q.V. Totally.

    Things the baby is saying: “I know, yeah? I know.”
    “Here we fuckin’ go. This ride… has started.”
    “She’s doing that ‘in love with my child’ face, isn’t she? You don’t have to tell me.”
    “You saw them put this necklace on me. You did. Cos, just, let that be noted, yeah?”

  10. April 28, 2010 12:34 pm

    “You saw them put this necklace on me. You did. Cos, just, let that be noted, yeah?”

    Between this and the photo caption, you people are killing me. Beyond that, I have no words.

  11. April 28, 2010 12:56 pm

    There are a lot of things going on in that picture, but that damn rainbow beaded necklace just seem like the extra icing rubbed all up in my face.

    Maybe she got the baby out of one those claw crane machines!

  12. April 28, 2010 1:18 pm

    That necklace looks ‘shopped. In any case, why is it there? So we know Sandy got one of those classy imports and not a domestic model?

  13. A Sarah permalink
    April 28, 2010 1:31 pm

    poplife, “clown horns” nearly made me wee in my office chair.

    Does this mean that now ALL of us NWL’s have to go out and get black babies? God, DO YOU SEE THE KIND OF CONSTANT PRESSURE WE ARE UNDER?

  14. April 28, 2010 1:49 pm

    Now to be clear, I am all about Sandy having reproductive choice. So that’s not what I’m snarking on here, but DAMN, it looks kind of odd, given all her recent dramas.

  15. April 28, 2010 1:55 pm

    Seriously though, why are white people obsessed with brown babies? I think it’s wearing beads so we know it’s black. Because people of African descent all love beads, like in their hair.

  16. April 28, 2010 1:58 pm

    I used to rock beads in my hair, just like the real Peaches! True story!

  17. April 28, 2010 1:58 pm

    The baby has cute hair like Halle Berry.

    Halle Baby, even.

  18. April 28, 2010 2:14 pm

    Seriously though, why are white people obsessed with brown babies?

    I think it’s partly for liberal cred. Also in the case of a celeb like Sandra Bullock it’s probably important to adopt from someone who’s not going to show up on the doorstep looking for a handout or selling the story to the Enquirer.

  19. April 28, 2010 2:19 pm

    According to TMZ:

    The magazine asked the question, “Were you aware of any interest [Jesse] may have had in white supremacy or Nazism?”
    Bullock responded, “The photo shocked me and made me sad. This is not the man I married. This was stupid, this was ignorant. Racism, anti-Semitism, sexism, homophobia, anything Nazi and a boatload of other things have no place in my life.”
    Bullock added, “And the man I married felt the same.”
    As for her newly adopted African-American baby, Bullock told the magazine she arranged for the child to have a bris — the Jewish circumcision ceremony.

    Whoa, now was that so hard, Sandy?

  20. April 28, 2010 2:25 pm

    It kind of looks like the entire baby is ‘shopped in. Although props to her for holding out for four years for the adoptable infant that had the Chris Rock eyebrow. I see ABC drama-dy potential in about 10 years. Sandy – “Do you think I should do Speed IV?” 11 year old Chris Rock eyebrow baby – “I think you should stop doing speed.” emmys to follow.

  21. Hsofia permalink
    April 28, 2010 2:46 pm

    Wait – Sandra Bullock is Jewish? I’m trying to understand the reason for a bris.

  22. evmaroon permalink
    April 28, 2010 2:55 pm

    You’re right, she’s probably holding a bag of flour. That’s how she could keep this shit secret for four months. What paparazzi cares if she’s buying flour?

  23. Kia permalink
    April 28, 2010 3:18 pm

    I spent many summers in beaded braids so I’m usually a fan. But these look like they were pulled out of the Gary Dourdan circa A Different World closet.

    And Sandra didn’t have to make any reasonable, concise statement when she knew she had this photo op as a trump card.

  24. evmaroon permalink
    April 28, 2010 3:53 pm

    @Kia: Good point about Sandra’s odd statement.

    Meanwhile, I’m pretty positive my Mom has that same necklace. I think she got it at Macy’s in 1987.

  25. April 28, 2010 6:24 pm

    Ev – I got my necklace from Party City

    Also, I thought babies were supposed to avoid necklaces.

  26. evmaroon permalink
    April 28, 2010 6:35 pm

    Party City? Why didn’t I think of that???

    I do love that the expression on the baby’s face is all: okay, what the hell, people? Is anyone gonna step in here and fix this shit?

  27. Q.V. permalink
    April 29, 2010 2:08 am

    Baby hamming it up aside, I think it’s notable that she adopted from New Orleans and not from overseas, and that the process started 4 years ago. I’m in the beginning of the adoption process, through the province, not an agency. There is a questionnaire that categorizes kids in every possible way that kids can be categorized, and you check the boxes after considering: would you adopt a kid that has that identity/experience/diagnosis? I wonder what boxes she checked?

    I also wonder if it mattered, if she had much to do with the race of the baby, and here is a good time for me to give up speculation rights on how she built her family and get into speculation about the system she adopted under. Here, half the children in continuing care–permanently removed from their birth families–are Aboriginal (Ministry’s word, not mine), even though we are 5-6 percent of the population. 2000 Aboriginal kids in continuing care out of a population of 200,000 Aboriginal people of all ages–one in every 100 of us Indigenous Characters is a kid in a foster home awaiting adoption placement. Or awaiting aging out of the system–the workers aren’t obliged to try to find a permanent home for teenagers. (Compare with non-Aboriginal kids in CC: still 2000 of them, but out of a population of over 3.8 million, they are instead fewer than one in every 19,000. Holds true for prison populations here as well, which I used to teach my bf the t-test in first-year statistics in 1996.)

    It could be that there is a similar local practice and history of child apprehension in New Orleans, a failure to support families in certain demographics and preference to instead punish them for their poverty and race by taking their children away. I expect because of this that Black families are as grossly over-represented on the FAIL side of the system as Indigenous families are here. The Ministry has such an evil history of genocidal apprehension here–manufacturing a grotesque and self-seeding heirloom variety of undeveloped parenting skills–that some Indigenous birth families take special care to make their adoption plan through an agency and a little further out of the state’s reach.

    The adoption angle of this story for me is more about the circumstances under which children in general are apprehended. Those are wheels that can hit the road no matter where you are. I will still enjoy snickering judgementaly over her choice to put her baby on the cover of the magazine in that necklace, though.

  28. April 29, 2010 2:27 am

    @Q.V. excellent points on a system that fails to support families of color, resulting in — or in order to provide — larger numbers of brown children for white people to adopt. I thought it was pretty clear what was happening when those Baptist missionaries were smuggling children out of Haiti just after the earthquake.

  29. April 29, 2010 7:56 am

    @QV the analysis you provided was brilliant. I find it hard to discuss the complexities surrounding interracial adoption – as practiced stateside – because it’s not my lived experience and because others (like you) have done a much better job articulating the problematic aspects of it.

    That said, I definitely see its aftereffects (mostly negative) where I live, particularly when white adoptive parents seek me out in public places and feel entitled to ask me all sorts of intrusive questions simply because they have adopted POC children and need help with the “whole black thing” (direct quote from one such enlightened parent).

  30. April 29, 2010 7:57 am

    I’m not trying to conflate POC with solely being black, but rather that’s most often the race of the child when white adoptive parents seek me out, for obvious reasons.

  31. Q.V. permalink
    April 29, 2010 10:30 am

    @redlami: OMG, I never thought of the possibility that the apprehensions could be to get babies for white families–though of course it seems like that is what could happen in international adoptions. I’m so suspicious of the cultural imperialism of the American (or Canadian or British) concept of adoption, because it is a system that absolutely depends on breaking up families.

    @Snarky’s Machine: You know I stared at those boxes I had to check for a long time. While I was pretty sure I could provide a safe home for, say, a child who had been diagnosed with multiple disAbilities, I was not sure I could provide a culturally safe or nourishing home for a child who was has Asian, Caribbean, or Punjabi ancestry (among others). While I did that, I wondered who does check those boxes and in the end, does it matter with 4000 kids awaiting permanent families? I reluctantly checked “Caucasian” because some of my best friends are white.

    Regarding adoption in general, I haven’t even begun to get through ten percent of my own skewed understandings, let alone responding to the dozens of misunderstandings that make their way into conversation. On the SUCCESS end of the adoption equation is a system of ranking potential adoptive families that could teach the SATs a few things about institutional racism. Another reason that white families may end up with the brown babies: the whole system was designed with the infertile heterosexual white family on the receiving end. @redlami, I get it now!

    Child welfare being state jurisdiction, I am sure every region, maybe even every county or city, has their own particular way of fucking up families. Here they have learned from decades of kidnapping (during which, as Johnny Cash points out, “Not one Indian turned white”) by legislating that they actually have to look in extended family, then in the child’s First Nation, then they have to write down everywhere they looked and present it back to the First Nation, before looking to the general population. Now, was that so hard?

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