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Riverdale goes all Rainbowdale

April 22, 2010

In a leap forward in diversity representation, the Archie Comics universe now has its very own homosexual, Kevin Keller. Now, I’m not entirely sure this isn’t just an Onion article, like that one about the letter D dropping sponsorship over the openly gay Muppet, Roger, but it still makes for an amusing headline.

I can’t help but see this as yet another jump of the shark from the Archieverse. Let’s face it, this comic stopped being relevant long before Archie’s creepy 40’s crosshatch hairdo did. First talk of marriage, and now a blonde, blue-eyed gay, like the Archie comic version of that gay guy on Melrose Place. Snore. If Jughead comes out as trans I’m picketing somebody.

I should admit I’ve never been at all fond of Archie and his pals. I find the digest format awkward and frustratingly destructive to spines, and let’s say the obvious: it’s creepy they don’t age. I keep retconning the story to make sense, and it inevitably leads to a secret government project and Archie finding out he’s a complex android who is nonetheless not human. If that turned out to be the melancholy, existentialist case I might be excited about the revelation, but for now I’m putting down the annoyingly small comic book and walking away.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. evmaroon permalink
    April 22, 2010 7:08 pm

    OMG, what if Jughead is trans? I don’t think I could stand it. You know what I want to see? I want to see the Riverdale kids all growed up, bitter and burned out. That would be something I’d spend 10 minutes reading.

  2. April 22, 2010 7:54 pm

    I loved Archie comics growing up, to the point that my best girlfriend and I would put on puppet shows using hand-drawn versions of the characters taped to popsicle sticks (true story:I can’t draw anything on my own to save my life, but I can copy–not trace, but look at and copy–most anything). Then I started realising that Archie was kind of a dick for leading on Betty and Veronica, and the stereotyping was just appalling. I’ve always been a Jughead fan, though.

    If they’ve finally included a gay person, good for them. Although this wording kills me: “Though Veronica is used to getting her way, she’s finally run up against a boy who’s immune to her charms. Cue the hijinks.”

    Hijinks? Gay hijinks? Well, golly, count me in!

  3. April 22, 2010 11:05 pm

    Everything I learned about writing I learned from reading Archie. It’s my life. I didn’t realize this was a new story! I thought this came out – pun intended – like a year ago! After they had another round of reader selected boyfriends for Betty and V. I thought Jughead would be gay since he hasn’t like girls in 40 years.

  4. araymondjohnson permalink
    April 23, 2010 12:56 am

    my first thought when i heard this news was “i can’t wait for snarky’s review of the issue!” reading Archie comics reminds me of summer vacation and hiding in the closet of my friend’s lakehouse with a stack of issues, and every time i see them at the checkout now, for a moment i think about jumping back in, but worry it could ignite an addiction.

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